With Bated Breath
by primadea
Summary: Sequel to "Selfless". After returning to SHIELD of his own free will, Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes is treated like a prisoner. His relationship with Cecilia is as fragile as his and her mental health, and the future seems grim. Begins sixteen days after the end of Selfless. I SUCK at summaries. Please read.Feels and enough M rated stuff to keep you interested.Rated M for a reason
1. Chapter 1

Twenty two days since her last drink. She crossed the day before's date on the calendar. Twenty two days sober; sixteen days without seeing him. That was a half truth, she got to see him, through a one way mirror, but that didn't really count; did it? She finished her coffee, grabed her heels, slipped them on and ran to her office, she was late for her first appointment of the day.

The elevator opened and she walked in, groaning, the last thing she wanted to do was share an elevator with Tony Stark. Where before she had enjoyed his banter and personality, now the least she saw him, the better she felt.

"Good morning Doctor." She nodded.  
"Good morning Mister Stark." What had happened to calling him Tony?

Oh yeah, she remembered, he had decided to lock up James, to question him, to see if there was any information they could gather from the ex Russian governement worker / spy/ assassin/ pretty much anything he wanted to be. Just thinking about it made her mad.

"I see we're still not on speaking terms." Cecilia didn't daign look at him, when her floor dinged and the door opened, she walked out, not looking back. She heard him wish her a great day as the elevator doors closed, and simply rolled her eyes. She was so sick of this shit.

Her morning went by fast, three appointments, all returning patients, she was growing quite a large patient pool. In fact, she could hardly believe she had only been doing this for the past two weeks. SHIELD had housed her in Avenger Tower, her office was in the same building, which facilitated the commute. She had been offered a good position, great salary if she was to take over a few special cases. PTSD for the most part, some depression. Nothing she couldn't handle, after all, she had rewritten the book on therapy for PTSD patients less then five years ago.

It felt good to get back on the horse, after almost eight months of being benched. She felt like a new person, like her old self, but better. So much better. Except she couldn't sleep, hardly ate, and was unable to look at herself in the mirror. Except for that, she was just peachy. Disgusted with herself, she left her notes with her secretary, and made her way to sub-basement 4. She hated that place. It was dark and dank, and smelled of what ever it was they used to clean the floors.

She knocked on a door, waited till she was buzzed in, and walked in, not bothering to greet anyone in there, except for Steve. He put his arm around her shoulders and held her as they watched the show. The interrogation of Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes, day sixteen. Today, it was Natasha in there with him, asking him the same questions he had been asked for the past sixteen days. The answers never changed, only the tone in his voice, where two weeks ago it had been clear and fresh, now it was lacking interest and life. He was dying in there. In an underground cell, just like Hydra had kept him in, this was no better then torture.

Cecilia leaned into Steve, her head on his shoulder, she was so sick of this, everyday the same thing, and everyday she came down here to watch and listen. He had lost a lot of weight, his clothes looked to big on him now, his face was hollow. He was dirty, his hair hung in oily dreads. He was treated no better than an animal. It pissed her off. The door opened and Tony strode in, he greeted everyone, then took a few minutes to watch what was going on in the next room. Nothing. No head way. No new information. He nodded to himself, before sending in two guards.

Steve and Cecilia watched as the guards barged into the interrogation room, and ordered the prisoner to get up and follow them. Which he did, no questions asked. Cecilia saw the handcuffs, saw where they dug into his wrists, saw him hunched over like an eighty year old man. He was a mess. It made her want to cry, instead, she reached for the door before ayone could stop her, turning in the hallway she saw the guards taking James away, toward the freight elevator. Cecilia did the only thing she could think of.

"Stop, please." She pleaded the guards, mildly confused, the men stopped. she saw James turn around and look at her, saw his eyes, saw the hollowness of his cheeks, even more pronounced now. "James." It was the only thing she could say, before walking towards him and throwing her arms around him. She felt him breath in, heard a strangled sound coming from his throat, the sound of metal hitting the floor, and she felt his arms envelop her. Holding her tight.

"Shhh Baby, it's OK, I'm here. It's OK." She listened to his voice, soothing her. She knew she couldn't stay there like that in the hall with guards and probably everyone else looking, but for now, for that instant, she didn't care. She was in his arms again.

She looked up, confused, looked down at his hands. The right handcuff bracelet was still there, but his left arm was free. He had broken free of his handcuffs in order to hold her.

She heard footsteps coming towards them, but refused to let him go.

"Alright kids, break it up. Guards, take Sergeant Barnes here to his quarters, make sure he gets what he needs to get cleaned up. Sergeant." He adressed James. "I want you ready to be debriefed at 18:00 hours." Tony Smiled at Cecilia, turned on his heals and left.

James stepped away from her, a light smile on his lips.

"I'll see you soon." He brushed his knuckles against her cheek, before being led away by the guards. She wasn't sure what to think anymore.

Steve led her back to his apartment, like he did everyday, he made them a quick lunch, and sat with her at the table, hoping today she might eat.

"What do you think that was about?" Steve really wasn't sure.

"I don't know, but we will find out soon enough, Stark always has a reason for the shit he does." Cecilia nodded. She agreed.

They ate in silence, there was not much to say, both were hoping for the best but expecting the worst. They simply had to wait and see. Instead of staying and watching a movie with Steve, as they had planned earlier, Cecilia decided to head to her apartment, she had some notes to recopy for an appointment the next morning, and she needed to have them ready. Walking into her home, she immediately noticed something was different, she could hear the shower running, smell the fresh scent of soap. She took a second to analyze what she was hearing, smelling, then, taking her heels off, she headed toward the master bathroom.

She wasn't sure if she should intrude. Instead, she stayed at the door. And waited for the water to be turned off.

"James?" She heard a chuckle, deep, sexy. "Yeah." She let out a breath she hadn't realized she had held.

He walked out of the bathroom, a towel low on his hips, his hair still dripping, he had lost some weight, but his muscle mass was still impressive, her eyes took him in, the planes of his abs, his chest, hard muscle, she was blushing now and she noticed it made him smile.

"You like what you see?" Cecilia nodded, not sure what to say, he came to her, so close, looking down at her, he let himself drown in the green pools of her eyes. He had missed her so much. "I knew you were there, behind the mirror, everyday, at the same time, I could hear you walking down that hall, in your heels." She blushed even brighter, but did not look away, she was mesmerized by his eyes. "Everyday I hoped I would see you. I was so lost without you." She closed her eyes, feeling his knuckles on her cheek, the warmth of his breath on her face, she tilted her head just a bit more, before feeling the softness of his lips on hers, for just an instant, before he stepped back.

Looking at him, she didn't understand, she was confused, didn't he want to kiss her, she was desperate to kiss him, couldn't he see that. He was still very close, desperate, Cecilia close the gap between them, framed his face with her hands and pulled him to her, his lips crashed on hers, their tongues danced and just like that he had his hands all over her, his strong arms around her, and she felt like she belonged once more. But her reflexes kicked in and she gently pushed him away. Breathless.

"I'm sorry, I just, I'm still THERE when you touch me James." She looked away. "Every time you touch me, I want more, but then I get scared and... I just want it to be like before." He pulled her in a tight hug and she melted into him. "I close my eyes and all I see is you, holding me down, not stopping. It's always there, right behind my eyelids."

"I can make it all better LyubImaya moyA. Let me make it better, Let me take care of you." She looked up at him, unsure. "Let me prove to you what you mean to me RAdost' moyA." He grew closer, his hair framing her face as he leaned in. She felt his lips on hers, so soft, so gentle, Cecilia sighed, her hands threading in his hair on their own. She felt a low rumble coming from his chest, he pulled her closer. She let him, but was ready to push him off of she needed to, he went slowly, his arms wrapping around her, his tongue demanding access to her own. Their kiss became something more, something hot, hungry, and they lost themselves in it.

They broke away, breathless, a shit eating grin plastered on his face, a deep blush on hers. His hands on her waist, her hands on his chest, when she saw him lean in again, she tilted her head up. This time the kiss was sweet, light, slow and gentle. His hands quickly made a B line for the zipper on her dress, sliding it down in one easy pull, before she could even snake her arms out of the sleeves, her bra was unclasped, quickly, he helped her out of her clothes, pushing her on to the bed in nothing but her panties, dramatically, he dropped his towel, and Cecilia was proud to see just how eager he was to be with her. Still she shivered unsure.

James took his time, their last time together had been a catastrophe, and he wanted to be sure,this time it would be perfect. He was gentle but demanding, taking as much as he was giving, making sure Cecilia had no reason to complain Finaly he felt her let go, felt her hands in his hair, felt her teeth on his skin. He was almost home-free. He took his time to relearn what she liked, to listen to the noises she made, to make sure she was pleasured, completely. Then,making sure she understood he meant no harm, that this was not an act of domination, not him taking her control away from her; He took his pleasure, long hard strokes, deep and hard, making her scream his name, whimper and dig her nail in his arms, back, anywhere she could reach. Slick with sweat, breathing heavily, James looked at her, his arms bent at the elbows on each side of ehr her face, their lower limbs still tangled. He kissed her. Just a soft chaste kiss. She was smiling at him, a deep blush all over her body, but it was her eyes he was focussed on. Those beautiful green eyes.

"I love you RAdost' moyA." He saw her smile wider. "I love you and I am going to make this right... make US right." He saw her nod, lazily. They kissed again, languid.

"I love you to James, that's why it's so hard." He leaned his forehead to hers, not saying anything. "I don't want to be afraid of you." His metal arm brushed some of hair away from her face. He saw her lean into it. He was sure, if Cecilia were a cat, she would be purring.

"I really fucked us up, didn't I?" She nodded, a single tear sliding down her cheek. It broke his heart.

"We were always fucked up James. That's what makes this work." He chuckled, she followed his lead, he kissed her one more time, before having to get ready, it was almost time for his debriefing.


	2. Chapter 2

"If you had to do it again, would you?" It was a complicated question, James wasn't sure how to answer. "I mean, what is she hadn't tried to "off" herself, would you still be there, working for them?" What he meant was, can we trust you, or are you actually working for the Russians? James sat there, drink in hand, elbows resting on his knees, in a uncomfortable leather chair, watching Tony Stark pace in front of him, pretty much talking to himself. They had just finished a nice steak and potatoes meal, and now, were supposed to be enjoying a nice glass of whiskey.

"If Cecilia would have been happy there, We would have stayed there." Tony stopped pacing, finishing his drink and refilling it.

"Why?"

"The life I could have given her there, the lifestyle I would have accustomed her to, she would have been a princess there. Here she has to work, I could never treat her to the things she deserve here. Not with my stipend,"

"What makes you say that. Have you seen your contract of employment?" James shook his head. It wasn't important, all he needed was the strictest minimum. It was for her, for Cecilia, he wanted to give her a charmed life, the best, at any cost. Like the house by the lake. Perfect luxury and comfort. But he was smart enough to know that it was a pipe dream.

Tony slid two small pile of papers on the table in front of him.

"This one" He pointed with his pen."Is your contract of employment with SHIELD. Your pay grade, salary as well as insurances medical, life , blah blah blah." He pointed to the other pile, much smaller. "This, this is the jackpot. These are bank accounts and deeds in your name, of properties and moneys the government and SHIELD have seized from HYDRA. Calculating how many years you were in their service, including incentives and Christmas bonuses." He tapped the papers."This is what is owed to you. For all your years of service."

James just sat there and stared at him. They were giving him money for the time he spent with HYDRA? He was having a problem comprehending that. His hand slid to the papers, first the HYDRA ones, looking over the first few pages, account numbers, debit cards, deeds of ownership. There were millions there. Both in cash and real-estate. He read those again. WOW. He looked up at Tony Stark, unbelieving about what he was seeing.

"Really? that much." Tony just nodded. Smiling.

"Yes, really." He handed him the pen. Pointing the work contract."Now, sign on the dotted line and we can have you start work as soon as Monday morning." James looked at him sideways. "Were Thursday today." He stated as if to a child. James groaned, signed the papers, not really looking. not really caring. He took his copies, giving Tony a strong handshake, and made his way to the elevator, heading back to his quarters.

The lights were off, he could see the light from the gas fireplace, feel its heat, he dropped his key card on the table in the small loby and walked in, finding his love sprawled on the couch, transferring notes to her laptop. As per her usual habit, her glasses were almost sliding off her nose, her hair in the messy bun he happened to adore on her. Of course, she had a pen in her hair, and she seemed so focused. She had not heard him come in. He sneaked up behind her silently, like the assassin he was, and, waiting until she leaned forward to type something on her laptop, he planted a gentle kiss on the back of her neck. His hands snaking down under her arms, folding over he stomach.

A stray thought came to him, and he hesitated to mention it out loud.

"Cecilia?" He whispered her name in her ear, kissing where her neck met her shoulder. He heard her moan in reply.

"Cecilia, did you ever get that birth control?" He knew it was a touchy subject, something that might bring out an argument, or even worse, it could have her push him away. He felt her straighten, stepped back from her, and waited as she twisted in her seat to look at him.

"No. I never bothered." He looked at her not sure what she meant by that. "You seemed so adamant about me not being on it, I wanted us to talk about it. Figured we needed to talk about a lot of things." He nodded.

"I'll make some tea Baby, how about you put away your computer and we can talk. I think we owe that to ourselves. Don't you think?" She nodded, he went to the kitchen and Cecilia put her work things away. Getting up and joining him in the kitchen, she helped him ding the mugs and prepare the hot beverage. He shushed her out the kitchen, and, brought her the tea in the living room, She was sitting on the couch, sitting straight, waiting for him, not sure what to expect from this "talk".

James sat next to her, pulling her to him by her shoulders, settling her flush against his chest as he got comfortable against the armrest and the corned of the couch. He kissed the top of her her relax in his arms.

"Talk to me RAdost' moyA." He felt her breath in deeply. Then letting the breath out.

"Where do we start?" He was playing with her hair, getting her even more relaxed.

"Where ever you want baby."

"I didnt get the birth control because i was afraid I might be pregnant." She twisted to look at his face, he seemed relaxed, not surprised, just listening. "I want to make sure I am not before i get back on the pill." His expression changed for just a second before going back to the calm exterior he had before. "What is it James. What did I say." He shrugged.

"I Just, I don't know. Don't you want to have children?" Cecilia had never thought about it before.

"I don't know." She was being honest. "I never thought about it, never had anyone in my life that i thought I could have that with." She chuckled. There was only Steve, and now you." She looked into his eyes. "I don't know James."

"You don't know if you want children at all, or you don't know if you want children with me?" He sounded calm, but she could hear a bite in his words. "Be honest Cecilia." He ghosted his fingers on her neck and she shivered.

"If there was one person on this earth that I would gladly have children with, its you." It made his heart sing. To hear her, his life, his woman say that to him, it was the best thing he had ever heard, mixed with the best feeling he had ever had. His heart was beating fast, and he was sure he had a stupid smile on his face.

"So what, we wait and see now?" She nodded.

"Ill get a test next time I go to the store. And we will see." It was his turn to nod. This was all new to him, and he honestly had no clue how these things worked in this century. "Then, if I'm not, we see, rubbers or back on the pill." She saw his expression change again."Don't give me that look. She smiled." She moved to straddle his thighs. "I love you James, I have never loved anyone like I do you. But right now, with all that happened. This isn't the right time for a kids." He rolled his eyes at her. "I am serious. We just found each other again, and you're still getting over what the Russians did to you." She framed his face in her hands.

"I am in love with you James Buchanan Barnes. And I will gladly get fat with your babies, but not yet." Again with the eye rolling."James, come on" She giggled a bit."Please say you're willing to be patient with me, with us?" He nodded, though she could clearly see he wasn't happy with the decision.

"I want us to be a family Cecilia. I want to know that you are mine, I need to know that you want that too, with me." His eyes were pleading, his hands were on her hips, digging into her flesh.

"Give us a year." "Three months." He interrupted her.  
"Six months," She saw a light smile."And you marry me, James Buchanan Barnes, You marry me and make me yours if what you want is me being yours." He looked at her, her face, her expression, her eyes, so beautiful. She wanted to be with him, she wanted to be his wife.

"I just might do that." He said in a low whisper. Almost a purr. He looked at her with a predatory gaze. His hands going from her hips to her ass, pulling her tighter against him. "I Love you Cecilia, and I will most definitely make an honest woman out of you, even if it's the last thing I do." James got up, still holding her close, and walked them both to bed. He was going to show her exactly how much he wanted to make her his. He smiled in the crook of neck as she locked her ankles against his lower back.

After three appointments, Cecilia had a lull, she was looked at the résumé and personnel files for Happy, Avenger Tower 's Head security officer. She went through the files, one after the other, finally falling on something that looked familiar. It was a personnel report for a new hire, a Young man now working in the medical department. Cecilia took her time, the whole file seemed familiar, even the CV. She couldn't remember when she had rad this file, but she knew she had, she was sure of it.

She got up from her desk, walked out, mentioned to her secretary she would be back after lunch and headed to her quarters, still reading the file.

"James, sweetheart. Come here a second please" She said as she walked into her apartment. She heard him shift somewhere in the living room.

"What is it, Whats up LyubImaya moyA" She handed him the file. "This looks familiar to me, could you take a look, I think it might be one of the files you had me read in Moscow. Could it be? "  
He took the file, read it as he walked into the kitchen, opening the fridge he found some left overs and, still reading, set it in the microwave. She saw his expression turn to one of interest. He closed the file and set it on the counter.

"Yeah that was one of the files I gave you, or close enough. I think we might have a spy in our midst." He motioned to the file."But not a very good spy." He took out the plate from the microwave and, taking out plate, filled it with the leftovers and set it on the table, holding out two forks, he motioned for Cecilia to come join him. "That means there's a better spy out there, taking in information, this guy" He pointed at the file." Is a decoy." She ate some of the food, Sheppard's pie. Leaving him most of it, knowing he needed to eat more than her.

"Ill take the info to Happy, let him know what you found." He looked at her.

"What time do you need to be back at your office?" She knew that voice, knew that smile, that look. Cecilia smiled.

"As flattered as I am, I really have to go back. But you could walk me." He got up, put the plate and the plastic container on the sink, then pulling her to him he kissed her breathlessly, before motioning her to go ahead and lead the way.

Hand in hand they went, down the corridor and into the elevator, where James made a point to pin her to the wall and make her pant like a marathon runner. He walked her to her office door, again, all hands, pulling her to him in front of the secretary, whispering in her ear, making sure she would be truly blushing before he let her go back to work.

He looked at her secretary, winked at her, before adding, pointing towards Cecilia "That's my woman." And leaving.


	3. Chapter 3

They had gone from store to store all afternoon, and at this point, Steve was growing restless. "What are you actually looking for? We've gone to shoe stores, tailors and clothing stores." He looked at his best friend really wondering what had gotten into him. The man next to him just sighed, rubbing his gloved hands over his face in frustration.

"I need an engagement ring." He finally admitted. "I wasn't sure how to bring it up. I don't know where to go, or what to get, and you are the closest thing I have to a brother, that I remember, so..." Steve seemed taken aback.

"An engagement ring? Really?" Bucky looked at him, wondering why his friend was acting so unsuportive. "I mean you and Cecilia are THAT serious?" Bucky just looked at his friend, deadpanned.

"What the fuck? I thought you'd be happy for me man." Steve seemed uncomfortable all of a sudden. Looking away. "Dude, you're in love with her; Shit!" Bucky just stood there, his hands on his mouth in an expression of surprise. He spun on himself, making a point to stop in front of Steve. "Does she know?" Steve, still not looking at his friend shook his head. "Shit!"

"It just happened, I mean, I always loved her, you know. When we met, I really wanted something special with her." He looked up at Bucky, embarrassed. "I mean, it didn't happen then.. you know. But we continued sleeping together, sometimes we'd SLEEP together." Bucky nodded, a dark stare in his eyes. "Then you came to stay and though I was so happy you two had found each other... I just..." He shook his head, clearing his thoughts.

"I wont do anything about it Buck. I wouldn't do that to you. You love her, she loves you. I shouldn't have said anything." Bucky just stared at him. "You knew about us, right?" Bucky nodded. Slowly. "Well, after the Russia thing, Cecilia couldn't sleep, and she would come and crawl in bed with me." Bucky's eyes widened in terror. What was Steve telling him. "Just sleeping, she needed to feel safe. She was scared and so alone, Buck. I'm her rock, I hold her and let her cry herself to sleep. THAT'S IT!" Bucky believed him, James believed him, but Yakov, he was having issues getting over this little piece of information.

"And now?" Steve seemed thrown by the question.

"Now, you are back. And she is your girl. And she loves you." He sighed. "I never touched her Buck. Not since well before she met you." Bucky breathed, he just realized he had stopped breathing, his head was spinning lightly. "But yeah, I'm in love with her. But I won't do anything about it. And NO she doesn't know. I never told her."

"She would feel so bad if you did. She loves you so much Steve. Like a brother." He knew those three little words would hurt his friend, and he was hoping it would put the subject to a close. Steve nodded, finally looking his friend in the eye. He felt embarrassed and a bit hurt, but he understood. Cecilia wasn't his girl, she would never be. He had missed his shot. He pulled his brother in a tight hug, before apologizing and letting him go. They still had a few jewelry stores to visit.

Finally it was done, He had a beautiful ring in a small black velvet box, nestled tightly in his pocket. It had taken a little extra to have it sized on the spot, but it was done. The next stop was at a drug store, Bucky needed to find pregnancy tests. He would not rely on just one, so he bought five, all different makes. Just to be sure. He felt a bit odd going to the cash with just that, so he grabbed a box of rubber, or three, and paid for his wares. Slightly embarrassed. He thanked the lady, looking at him lopsided, then headed out to the waiting car.

"Got what you needed?" Bucky looked at his friend.

"I think so.. I don't know. Never bought a pregnancy test before." He saw Steve's jaw slack. "Before you ask that is not why I'm proposing. It's just... a bonus." He smiled to himself, happy to have shut his friend up. The car pulled onto the street and they were on the way to their last stop, the grocery store. Cecilia had nothing in the fridge, and even less in the pantry. He needed to feed her, and himself. They made a not so quick last stop, coming home with bags full of groceries, Steve helped him put everything away, before hugging him and wishing him luck.

It smelled all the way to the elevator, a full bodied roasted meat smell that had Cecilia's stomach clenching. The few bites of Sheppard's pie were long digested and the smell was divine. She walked in, the smell assaulting her, James had been cooking. She smiled. He was perfect.

"That smells sinful." He looked up from his book, sitting on the couch, she could hear music in the background, soft. He got up to greet her. Pulling her into a tight hug, kissing her neck then moving to her lips. Smiling.

"How was your day? Did you go talk to Happy?" She nodded.

"It was a long day, and yeah I spoke to Happy, he wants me to go through all the personnel files for the past two years, see if I can find some discrepancies." He helped her out of her dress suit jacket, loving the red dress on her. She seemed to always wear something red, his color, making sure everyone knew who her champion was. Him.

"I didn't notice you wearing that earlier, did you change?" She poured herself a glass of water. "Had to, had a meeting with Miss. Potts. Wanted to make a good impression. I even did my hair." She chuckled. It was true she wore a beautifully done bun, high on her head, only a few tendrils of hair framing her face. Earrings and a matching bracelet, the ones he gotten her while she was in Texas, and the tell tale sign of his dog tags around her neck. Just looking at her now, knowing she was his girl, his woman, made him proud.

"I went to the store today, got some groceries, you my dear need to eat more. And I stopped by the drugstore to get what you mentioned last night." She looked at him, not sure. "Tests." He mentioned quite uncomfortable, and for the first time, she saw her James blush, crimson.

"Well at least it wasn't tampons." She heard him groan, saw his eyes roll up and laughed. "So old school." She pulled him in a kiss, loving how he pulled her closer and held her there.

"So, now what?" He asked.

"Now, I go pee on a stick."

"Five." He interrupted. "I got five, just in case."

She sat there, her chin resting on her knees, her arms around her legs, sitting on the closed toilet,in her red dress. Scared to death about what she would see if she looked at the counter, five tests laid there, one next to the other. She had been in there well over the minimum four minutes, closer to fifteen actually. There was a light knock at the door, James popping his head in.

"You OK in there?" She shook her head.

"I am scared." He smiled.

"How about you come out here a bit, those won't go bad, will they?" He motioned to the counter. She chuckled, getting up and following him into the living room.

"Before we take a look at those womanly things int he bathroom" He said with an embarrassed grin. "I wanted to let you know that no matter what happens, I want you to be mine." She looked at him, slightly worried.

"Aren't I already?" He shook his head, smiling.

"Yeah, but not like this." He slowly took out the tiny black velvet box. "I am not good with this, I mean, I guess I should get on one knee and open it and beg fro you to be mine." He said as he did exactly that. Getting down on one knee in front of her, holding out the box and opening it for her. Her breath caught in her throat, not because of what was in the box, though she was sure it was perfect, but because she had never seen her man with such a desperate, longing, hoping expression.

Her hands in front of her mouth, she simply couldn't believe this. He was doing it, she had been half teasing the other night, making her point, wanting him to realize that all he had to do was ask and she would be his forever, she had not been expecting this grand gesture. She nodded her head frantically, how could she not. She just hoped he understood, she was saying YES. Gingerly, he slipped the ring on her finger, She hadn't even looked at it yet. Superb, a beautiful square diamond sat in the middle of two rows of ruby's. Red and white, perfect. It fit her perfectly, and Cecilia guessed James must have gone shopping with Steve. She never wore rings, but this one, she would never take off.

James got up from his spot on the floor, pulling her to him in a quick pull, his lips finding hers, he kissed her like his life depended on it. He loved her, he needed her and now he would be sure to keep her and take care of her. She was his woman, and he would never let her go. He stepped back a bit, letting her breathe, he had never seen her so blushing, so glowing. She was beautiful. Always, but right now, at this moment, she was radiant. And he had made her feel that way, knowing that he wanted to marry her made her feel like that, and that was the best feeling ever.

"How about we forget about those things in there for tonight, and just have a great evening. We can check them out tomorrow."

The meal was perfect, roasted beef tender loins, with vegetables and potatoes. There was some nice music and he had baked a cake. Cecilia was surprised, she had no idea he knew how to cook. He had made a joke about not being used to anything this fancy, his mother had an old gas stove way back when. But the man was talented. Everything was good.

After a movie and a lot of making out, Cecilia headed to the bathroom, James had told her it could wait, but she knew she would not be able to sleep if she didn't check now. James followed her to the door, not crowding, just waiting, leaning on the door frame. Cecilia took a deep breath before looking down. Her face was blank for a few seconds, before changing, from a look of complete relief, to that of total disappointment, James wasn't sure what he was looking at. Walking up behind her, he looked over her shoulder. Single line, minus sign, blue dot, Not pregnant, another single line. He could not help but feel a bit disappointed. But he knew Cecilia wasn't ready, this was better.

He heard a sniffle coming from his fiance, looking in the mirror he saw her trying not to cry. He pulled her against him, pushing the tests off the counter and into the garbage bin in one swift move. She was just as disappointed as he was. Though she had complained about wanting to wait, and not being ready. He now knew she did want this. He kissed her hair, smiling ligtly.

"Maybe next time RAdost' moyA." he saw her reflection nod.

"Maybe."


	4. Chapter 4

Saturdays were the best days, no need to get up early, no appointments, no work, usually there were groceries to do, but those had already been done for her. In bed, resting on his chest, feeling his metal fingers brush through her hair, his flesh ones caressing her skin, her arm, her neck, her face. Cecilia was almost purring. He had held her all night, letting her cuddle close, the evening had not ended how he had hoped, instead of hot passionate sex, they had made love, slow intimate, healing. He had needed that as much as she had.

This morning was a lazy Saturday morning. She kissed his chest, hearing him moan, smiling. It was ten thirty, much later then she was used to staying in bed. He kissed her head, she looked up to see him smile. Today was officially their first day as an engaged couple. Cecilia still felt excited about that. Engaged to James Buchanan Barnes, The Winter Soldier, the baddest bad ass out there. She grinned. If there was one place on this whole earth that she would be safe and cared for, it was in his arms.

"So, Fiance of mine, what shall we do today?" He sounded groggy, half asleep, cozy. She giggled.

"we could go out fro brunch, then maybe walk around the city." He smiled.

"Maybe we could go out tonight, you, me, a nice restaurant." She nodded.

"That's sounds like a great idea." He nodded, it did sound like a great idea.

"Wanna go looking at wedding gowns?" He felt her twist in his arms, facing him. "City offices are closed today, but we could get our marriage license on Monday, get married next week." He was holding his breath. Waiting for her reaction. She seemed to not quite understand. Slowly, her beautiful lips broke into a bright smile, and she leaned down and kissed him, deep and needy and perfect. Her hands in his hair, his arms pulling her closer. She pulled away, slowly, licking his lips, then biting her lower lip, looking so happy.

"Yes." She kissed him again. "You really want to marry me, really?" He was shocked.

"Cecilia, you are my life, I love you. I would have married you in Moscow, if you would have asked. I would marry you right this second if I could. You are everything to me." He sounded so desperate. She leaned on him, her whole bosy lying on his, feeling every inch of his left side underneath her.

"OK, I'm sorry, I just. I want you to be sure, I don't want you to regret this." He pulled her closer.

"I could never regret being with you. The only regret I have is the time we lost these past few weeks." She smiled. They were going to go through with it, they would get married.

The day had been a nice one, starting with a nice breakfast, then walking around New-York, Cecilia had not taken the time to visit the big Apple since she had arrived, and James was taking her to his favorite places, those he remembered. They went window shipping, took their time together, walking hand in hand, enjoying the beautiful day. It was nice and simple, no stress, the only issue had come up when they were looking at dresses, James was pushing for a white one, Cecilia was unsure. They had argued about it for a bit, before he shut her up with a breathless kiss. He didn't really care what color she wore, as long as she was the one standing with him in front of the Judge.

That night, they went out to eat, a nice restaurant, intimate, relaxing atmosphere, it reminded her a bit of the Ritz in Moscow. They sat face to face, holding hands, his left hand was gloved, to not attract attention. Though Cecilia would have much prefer he left it free. She loved every part of him. To her his metal arm, just reminded her of how resilient he was, of how caring and gentle he could be, of his protective and possessive side. Besides that, she though it was Uber sexy.

In the middle of dinner, James' phone rang, he seemed serious, worried, upset, not wanting to listen in on the conversation, Cecilia went to the bathroom. When she came back to the table, James was already up, paying the bill. Grabbing her jacket he helped her pull it on, his metal arm pulling her by the waist, walking outside there was already a SHIELD vehicle waiting for them, they got in and were driven right to a heli-pad, a bit outside of the city limits, half an hour from the restaurant. They had ridden in silence, James not mentioning anything about the phone call, or where they were going, just holding her close.

Getting out of the car, Cecilia recognized the people already waiting by the chopper, Tony, Steve and Natasha. No, James was leaving. They were going on a mission. Tony greeted her first, shaking her hand.

"Thank you for doing this." Doing what exactly? She wasn't sure.

"I'm sorry, what now?" Tony looked at James, confused.

"You didn't tell her?"

"Tell me what?" Tony breathed in, annoyed.

"We apprehended a few HYDRA operatives, and we need someone with your "skills sets" to help with the questioning." Cecelia was unsure.

"I don't think I'm qualified." Tony chuckled.

"You're a shrink, right?" She shook her head,

"I have a PhD, I am a professional Mister Stark." He grinned.

"Exactly. Now get in that chopper and lets get this party started." She walked on, shaking her head. Hearing James and Tony argue about something, before feeling a metal arm snake around her waist and help her step up into the helicopter. She kept close to James, feeling his arm around her shoulder. She had let him strap her in, Tony had handed her a few files, and she proceeded to reading them while the others were talking about how to best question the prisoners.

Four files. Quite redacted, not much to go on. She had never done this before, she knew she would see things tonight that she would regret seeing the rest of her life, she would see her friends, Steve and James do things that she probably would never be able to forget. But still, she would do what was asked, would analyze and study, would find a way to get the information they needed.

Cecilia leaned her head on his shoulder, he felt bad for her, he knew she was being pushed into this. Knew he should have mentioned it to her before, in the car, but he wasn't sure how, he felt like a coward, on the other hand, this was Tony's idea. So he let Tony break it to her. She would be part of the team now, not a front row member, but a support asset, someone they could depend on to help them on their missions. Someone they could trust. There weren't many of those around. He pulled her closer, kissing her head, noticing the look Steve gave them, he looked away, hating the way he felt about his best friend.

Jealousy.

Red and hot and pouring off him. He hated feeling like that, hated feeling those negative emotions for his best friend. Hated to imagine his woman in Steve's arms. In his bed, it made him feel things he would rather not admit to feeling. She was his, and the fact the someone else, Steve, had touched her in the same he, her future husband had touched her, it made him want to break something, someone. He kissed her head again, closing his eyes and breathing her in, she soothed him. Always.

He fell asleep, his head on hers, until they were woken up by Steve, shaking them lightly.

"We're here." They stretched and took off their head sets, jumping off the Helicopter, James kept a tight grip on his woman, not letting her further then his arm's length. He needed her close. They climbed into a waiting van, the trip lasting less then ten minutes, when they stepped out, they were in an underground parking, leading directly into offices and cells, bare minimum, no artifice, just a huge multi-level concrete bunker.

Cecilia was brought to a room with one way glass, followed by Steve and Tony, on the other side of the glass, an interview room, same as what she had seen in so many police shows. A table, bolted to the ground, two chairs, bad lighting. There was a man sitting across from them, maybe in his early thirties, his wrists were cuffed and hooked to the table, he was staring ahead, as if he knew people were looking at him, of course he knew.

Stephen Lacroix. Thirty three, single, no higher education, involved with HYDRA since an early age. His parents were both HYDRA, he had never had a chance. Reading his file, she realized there was no way to ever get him to talk, he would die for the cause, it was his whole life. She shook her head, not understanding how people could willingly get involved in such a cult like organization, then raise their children into it. Cecilia looked up, seeing James and Natasha walk into the interrogation room. Not James, this was someone else, The Soldier, flanked by the Widow. It was starting.

It started with questions, simple ones, then the beating started. The Widow was asking questions and The Soldier was bringing the point across. Cecilia forced herself to watch, first it was punches, the face, then body shots, the prisoner was uncuffed, and that's when the Soldier really went to town. Slapping, punching, kicking, grabbing him and sitting him back down, then starting all over again. There was blood, on his hands, knuckles, fists, clothes. He had changed, wearing his Soldier uniform. His mask, his goggles. He fit the job.

When he started breaking fingers Cecilia had had enough. This was a show, she wasn't here to help out, she was here to witness. His hands finding the pressure points, pushing, probing, making sure to give the most pain while inflicting the less damage possible. It was expertly done. Art; and though the last thing she wanted to do was watch, Cecilia couldn't look away. The prisoner was crying, screaming, whimpering, when The Soldier moved to break a wrist, Cecilia had to dash for the garbage, loosing her dinner. Bringing everything up, followed by bile.

"You need to watch Doctor." Tony, always trying to make a point. "You need to understand what you're getting into." She was right, this was a show. SHe flet Steve trying to pull her to him, but she jumped away, burned.

"How dare you!" She screamed at her friend. "How dare you do this to him, to me. Ho could you think that this was something that I needed to see." He grabbed her by the shoulders, shaking her a bit.

"You need to know Cecilia, you need to see what he does, who he is." She shook her head.

"You don't think I know, you don't think I know exactly who or what he is. I know WHO he is, and this, this is not it." She was crying now, screaming. "I didn't need to see this, I didn't need to witness this. I already knew."

"Yet you got engaged to him. I'm not sure what it says about you Doctor." She spun around to meet her boss. "As a mental health professional, this is a definite epic fail." She slapped him. Hard. "I deserved that, maybe."

"You think I'm just going to walk away now, that I'm going to leave him. Is that it." Tony shrugged. "Get out." And he did, no arguing. Turning her anger towards Steve, she turned around to face him.

"And you, how could you do this to your best friend?" She felt so hurt. "How could you do this to me." He felt bad, she could see that. He stepped forward, tryig to pull her in a hug, but she pushed him off.

"Cecilia, I love you, you know I do, but you needed to see this, needed to know what he was capable of." They could still hear the man on the other side, Cecilia peaked a look, The Soldier had taken out his knives, and was now using them on the prisoner. She couldn't watch any longer, pushing away Steve's hand that was reaching for her, she left the room, slamming the door behind her. Finding the closest garbage bin, she emptied what was left of her stomach, crying. Straightening, breathing deeply, she found a bathroom to clean herself up a bit, found her files and walked back to the interrogation room. Natasha was waiting outside, screams and whimpers still being heard.

She reached for the door handle, Natasha not stopping her.

"Are you sure you want to go in there." Cecilia nodded, not looking at the red head.

"I have to." She turned the knob and walked in, knowing exactly what she would be faced with. The soldier, bloodied, a knife in hand, sticking into the prisoner's left hand, twisting. There were already three fingers missing in all, and the man was loosing a lot of blood.

The Soldier stopped, looking at her, with the mask on and the goggles, there was no expression to read. Cecilia stayed neutral, sitting down across from the man, staying away from the blood as much as she could. She grabbed the prisoners shirt, thrown on the table, and cleaned the table, just enough to open her file on the table. She took her time, The Soldier having stepped back, standing in the corner across from her, she was sure he was staring at her frowning. She took her time, reading the file, making herself comfortable. Then, looking at The Soldier.

"Bring me coffee, black, two sugars." She saw him hesitate, then raised her eyebrow, before seeing him turn around and leaving the room, coming back a few minutes later with her coffee. She was making a power play, letting the prisoner know that SHE was in control. Sending The Soldier for a cup of coffee was her way of showing Stephen Lacroix that she was more dangerous then The Soldier, not only did she control the situation, she controlled a known assassin, spy, terrorist asset.

The prisoner looked at her, his face bloodied and a tooth missing, he looked like shit. She saw fear in his eye. the only one still open enough to show any sort of emotion. She got up, moving around the room, stopping in front of The Soldier, laying her hand on his chest, making sure the prisoner saw it, she felt a hand press on hers, another around her waist, lightly. She was now showing the prisoner who she was to The Soldier, letting him know just how much control she had on him. She was manipulating his fear, letting him know she was his only chance. His last shot to get out alive. She sat back down. Noticing the blood on her shirt, acting as if she didn't care, when in fact all she wanted to do was take the shirt off and throwing up.

"You have until I'm done with my coffee to tell me everything you know. Now, remember, If I'm here asking you questions, then maybe I already know the answers." She took a sip of her coffee feigning enjoyment. By the time she had taken her third swallow, Stephen Lacroix was spilling all he knew about HYDRA and their north American safe houses.

She walked out of the interrogation room and grabbed the garbage pail Natasha was handing her thankfully. She sat in a corner of the hallway and, head between her legs, face in the pail, she continued to throw up. She saw a large shadow fall on her, wiped her mouth with her sleeve and looked up. The Soldier stood there, staring down at her, his hand reaching up and pulling off his mask and goggles. He looked as bad as she felt. He squatted in front of her, his gloved hand coming to touch her face. She didn't shy away, she wasn't scared of him. Never was. Never would be.


	5. Chapter 5

She sat there, against the wall, a garbage pail between her legs, throwing up more bile then food. She was oblivious to what was going on. Tony gave him two key cards and some directions, before everyone left them alone in the hallway. Looking at her, he still couldn't believe the stunt she had pulled, he had not expected her to be there, he had assumed they would take her to one of the other two prisoners, not make her watch him in action.

He had been wrong.

She heaved again, breathing hard, wiped her mouth on her sleeve, before looking up at him. He took his mask and goggles off, he didn't want to make her uncomfortable. He squatted, to match her height. His gloved finger gently touching her face. He felt guilty. He felt her lean into his touch, cupped her face, just looking at her. Her bright green eyes were a little less bright, a little more jaded, a little harder then he was used to. She had been thrown into his world, what did he took the pail away, grabbed her hand and pulled her up., noticing a trail of blood on her face, left by his gloved hand

"Come on sweetheart, time to get cleaned up and into bed." He handed her a key card and walked her to her room. "Here you go, you going to be OK." She looked at him, confused.

"What do you mean, my room, you're not coming in?" It was an innocent question, but he could hear the disappointment in her tone of voice, the hurt.

"I wasn't sure you would want me anymore." Not tonight, not in your bed, in your life. Cecilia heard that loud and clear, and she wanted to cry. Her hand touched his chest. Her eyes looking up to him, pleading.

"James, please, don't do this to yourself." He sighed, thinking about what to do next. Finally, he stepped inside and closed the door behind him. If she still wanted him, who was he to deny her. She led him by the hand, into a tiny bedroom, flanked by an even tinier bathroom. She undressed him, piece by piece, throwing everything in a pile by the door, then he did the same for her. There was no passion, no romance, no kisses or caressing, just two people looking into each others scars, souls. Fears.

They showered together, dry blood running down the drain, still, he wouldn't touch her. Though he looked at her, hungry, violent, needy. But his hands stayed by his side as she washed him, his hair, his body, taking her time, taking care of him. She was playing her role, the one she had taken up less then an hour ago, she knew she had stepped over an invisible line she would never be able to get behind again. Cecilia would be seen as his handler, the one that controlled him, and as scary as that seemed to her, she knew it was closer to the truth then she would have ever imagined.

Once she was done cleaning him, he took over, washing her inch by inch, starting at her feet, on his knees, and working his way up, showing his reverence to her. When he reached her hands, he looked down at them, the ring he had given her sparkling bright. He took a deep breath. Unsure, he was so scared.

"It's part of my job." He wasn't looking at her, but he knew she had nodded. "It's not something I ever wanted you to see." He felt her hands in his hair, pulling him up to her."When you walked in, I thought, I don't know what I thought." Finally he looked at her, as her lips crashed on his, she needed him as much as he needed her. He kissed her back, just as hungry. He stayed like that for a moment, one on knee in front of her, his hands working their way up, cupping her ass, her breasts, his tongue commandeering the kiss. Smoothly he got up, pinning her to the tiled wall. Letting himself go, giving in to his need. Knowing full well she would let him do whatever he wanted. Whatever he needed.

That night was all about him, he took her as many times as he could, not always gentle, not always loving, but needful and passionate. What he didn't give in gentleness and love, he made up with words. Cecilia let him, wanting him to know she wouldn't leave, she was there for him, she would accept him as he was. She showed him, all she could give him, all he could take. And then she told him, all he meant to her, all she wanted with him. It was a long night, he was demanding, she was responsive. She would tell him she loved him and he would whimper, heartbreaking. She knew how he felt. He was her savior just as she was his. He was possessive, leaving marks, bruises, bites, hickeys. But she didn't care. She was his, and those little reminders just made her feel loved, wanted.

When Cecilia woke up, it was to James creeping back into the room with a breakfast tray in one hand and a pile of neatly folded clothes balancing on the other.

"Good morning LyubImaya moyA. I brought you breakfast." She smiled at him, only getting a shy smile in response. He set the tray down on the bed, his eyes staring at hers. Full of something she couldn't put her finger on. Those beautiful steel blue eyes, deep and so full of emotion, she could drown in them. She leaned towards him and lacing her fingers in his hair, pulled him to her, let his lips hover over hers before letting him take over, a sweet kiss, gentle and soft and so perfect.

"Good morning Lover." She saw him blush, it was such a rare sight, she enjoyed her moment. Pulled him closer for second chaste kiss. "Do we go home today?" She saw him shrug.

"I don't know, I spoke to the man in charge, seems we still have two idiots to question, then we get debriefed and head home."

"Where are we? A military base?" He nodded. She seemed to think for a minute. "DO they have a Chaplain you think?" She saw him cock his head. Confused.

"I didn't know you were religious." Now she was confused. "Mass? Sunday?" She clicked. He thought she wanted to attend Mass. She shook her head.

"No, I just thought maybe we wouldn't have to wait." Still he seemed confused."To get married." She saw understanding dawn on his face. His eyes light up. A crooked smile on his lips.

"Wait here, I'll find out" and just like that he was out the door.

James reappeared almost an hour later, Cecilia was dressed and showered, wearing a black pants suit that James had brought with him that morning.

"Let me get dressed and we can go meet the Chaplain. He is expecting us." He dressed in his Soldier uniform, it seemed to have had been cleaned over night, grabbed his mask and goggles and offered her his hand. She took it, trying not to giggle too much. He led her through corridors and staircases, she felt like rat in a maze. Finally they opened a door and were outside, fresh air cold on her skin, but so much better then the recycled air in the large facility.

They walked a little more, to a small building, opening the door and walking in she recognized it as a chapel, small maybe a dozen chairs, there was a man in standing at a makeshift altar, and two other Cecilia did not know. Witnesses, they needed witnesses. It was short and sweet, a Small homily, a few questions, saying the basic vows, signing a few documents, and it was done. They didn't feel different, but as they kissed, the smile on both their faces made it plain and simple to everyone present, this did in fact change everything.

Ont he way back James kept his arm around her waist, not letting her go anywhere without him. She felt as if he would never let her go again, and truthfully he probably wouldn't. They walked back to the interrogation room, Natasha waiting patiently for The Soldier, Tony was there and so was Steve, but she ignored them. She smiled at the red head.

"I'll take it from here." Natasha stared at her, then at The Soldier, now donning his mask and goggles. He nodded. Turning towards Cecilia, she gave her a hug.

"If you feel uncomfortable, just get out, I'll take over. These things aren't easy." Cecilia nodded. Then looking at The Soldier, nodded once. He opened the door for her, always the gentleman, and followed her in.

Cecilia acted like she belonged in that room, which was something Tony Stark had not anticipated. She took the role of interrogator and used her relationship with The Soldier to her advantage. Using him to make the prisoner fear, not the Soldier, but her. Letting him think that she had full power over the assassin, playing the role of the mastermind. Manipulating the emotions of the man before her. Who, though he had started the interrogation strong and insolent, was loosing ground minute by minute, sweating, making mistakes, saying things he knew he should not say, babbling. And through the whole ordeal, Cecilia was just walking around him, making sure to make physical contact with The Soldier as often as possible, intimate touches, sexy smiles, just to show the prisoner how in control she really was. It was a dance, and Tony simply could not look away.

She motioned with a finger and a snap would ensue, she would give the armored assassin a look and a fist would make contact. It was all silent, perfect communication. These two worked well together. When the prisoner called her a cunt, Tony had seen The Soldier hold himself back, he had waited for a signal. Instead, Cecilia had sent him out for a coffee and cigarettes. Making herself comfortable, feet up on the table, heels kicked off. smiling.

James walked into the observation room, holding a cup of coffee and a pack of cigarettes. Waiting. Cecilia was in complete control. He could see that. Right now he was just a prop. He didn't mind. He could be that to her.

"Cunt, wow that takes balls. To call me a cunt." The man across from her sneered, but everyone could see he was scared. "You know who that man was?" SHe asked in a bored tone.

"The Winter Soldier" She nodded,

"Yes, and do you know who just called a cunt?" He shook his head, he was sweating now, her tone of voice and a few direct questions had turned his sneer into a whimper. "His lover." The man turned white. "So, what do you think he is going to do to you if I let him have some fun?" She stood up, walking behind him, leaning in, she licked his ear, sensing him shiver. "He loves knives, very good with them." She whispered in his ear. "I could sit there and watch, enjoy the show." She was working on his last nerve. "you would scream like a little girl, and I would relish it. Actually, that would be such a fucking turn on." Both Steve and Tony looked away, disgusted. The Soldier didn't move, he knew it was a tactic.

"Now, you have a choice, I can sit there and enjoy the coffee he will bring me and the cigarette and listen to you spill your guts, or I can sit there, enjoy my coffee my cigarette and a good show, that I know will please my lover, as much as I will as soon as he is done." She lightly bit down on his ear. "What do you think?" He was shaking, pasty white, he nodded, violently.

"I'll talk." She smiled at the one way mirror, a disgusted smile, she had hated every minute of it. But it had worked. When a man calls a woman a cunt, the only place to get to him is between his legs. The Soldier walked back in the room, handing her her order, then stood by the door again, while the prisoner told them all he knew. Which happened to be just the same as Stephen had told them the night before.

She walked out of the room, waited until the prisoner was taken away, before reaching for a garbage pail, again and heaving her breakfast. How sexy. She didn't think she could ever get used to that. Strong arms came around her and helped her up, and she let them, feeling safe and secure with The Soldier, HER Soldier, He took off his goggles and mask, before leaning in to kiss her on the nose. Someone offered her a bottle of water and she accepted it, letting James keep an arm around her as she gargled and spat the water out into the waiting pail.

"You did good baby." He nuzzled her neck, and she let him pull her closer. "I hate seeing you in there, talking and acting like that, but you did good." HE kissed her neck. Letting her go.

Natasha would be taking care of the last prisoner, so it was time fro James and Cecilia to head home. They were led to a heli-pad where a chopper was waiting, just the two of them. Steve Natasha and Tony would be going off to confirm the Intel they had just gathered. They settled in the helicopter, James pulling her to him, holding her the whole way back while she tried to nap.


	6. Chapter 6

First appointments of the day Monday morning, and instead of the patient she was expecting, in waltzed Tony Stark. Cecilia rolled her eyes, she should have known. He sat on her couch, making himself comfortable, lying down, feet propped up on the arm rest.

"What are you doing here Mr. Stark?" He sighed flippantly, looking at her with practices puppy eyes.

"Well, I'm here to talk about my feelings. I think the house cat we had when I was a kid abused me." He had the gaul to smile at his own joke. Cecilia just stood there, staring at him.

"And how did that make you feel?" She asked sarcastically, raisin an eyebrow.

"Itchy actually, I think I might be allergic to cats." She stifled a groan.

"What do you want Tony?" He sat up, confident as always.

"I want to talk about yesterday. That was a great job you did. More importantly, I want to talk about you getting some pointers from Tash, so you can do it again. But better." She cocked an eyebrow.

"Pardon?" He sighed,

"aren't you supposed to be trained to listen? I want you to get some training with Natasha. She is good at her job, she knows how to interrogate, I think she could help you get the hang of it."

"Why would I want to do that?" She asked mildly disgusted.

"Because I'm asking you to. SHIELD, is asking you because I liked what I saw, not during, but after. You don't like hurting people Doctor, and that means you will always ONLY do what is absolutely necessary. I like that."

"Even if I disagree with you?" He nodded, serious,

"Specially when you don't agree with me." She sat down next to him, deep in thought.

"I'm not sure if I want to do that, I need to think about it." He got up, slapping his hands on his thighs.

"Good, I cleared your schedule today, I'll be expecting your answer by tonight." And with that he just walked out. Cecilia leaned back on the couch, feet up on the arm rest, taking the spot Tony had left just a few minutes before.

Cecilia wasn't sure, she had hated manipulating and interrogating, it had physically hurt her to do it,made her sick, but, it was something that needed to be done, the sacrifice of one, versus the good of a whole. She knew she was going to do it, but she also knew she would hate it. Every aspect of it. She exhaled, frustrated, she was at an impasse. She knew she would do it, she just didn't want to... And on and on it went in her head, until she realized there was no more natural light coming into her office, she looked at the time, it was already evening, she was late for dinner.

They ate in silence, James obviously uncomfortable, it was clear Cecilia was going through something, but so far she had not talked about it. He would let her come to him. He knew not to rush her.

"I started training new recruits today." He supplied sometime while clearing the dishes. She nodded. "I liked it, it's different. Not so much pressure, less dangerous. And I get to order people around." He smiled at her, but noticed She wasn't really looking at him. He gave up. Went back to being quiet. She finished helping with the dishes, then headed for the bedroom, grabbing her cell phone on the way, not looking at him. James was a bit hurt, and a little confused. She had been fine last night, they had made love and celebrated being newlyweds, this morning they had gone another round, and now this, the silen treatment, was it something he had done, did something happen at work?

James followed her into their bedroom, she was sitting on the bed, texting. He sat next to her and read over her shoulder, something he would not have been comfortable with, but she leaned into him and openly showed him the screen.

"I'll do it."

He wondered what exactly she was going to do, but he waited for more clarification.

"I'll be training with Natasha. SHIELD wants me to learn interrogation techniques. They offered me a job. Sort of." He frowned.

"You weren't going to talk to me about it?" He was a bit upset.

"I don't want to bother you with it. I mean, look at you, you do so much more then just interrogate, you put yourself on the line, I just, I just want to know that I am doing something too." He looked at her, still a bit upset.

"It's something I need to do." He nodded. Pulling her against his chest, kissing her head.

"OK." He held her a bit closer. "But you are going to have to learn to talk to me, we need to start deciding things together. ." She heard the teasing tone, she could imagine the sparkle in his eyes, the shit eating grin on his beautiful lips. "Promise me you'll get out if you feel uncomfortable." He felt her nodd her head against his chest. "I love you Mrs. Barnes." She giggled.

Her phone buzzed and she looked at it. "2morow 7AM be ready." She sighed. She was going to do this.

Getting up, she took her husbands hands and led him back to the living room, pushing him to sit on one of the plush chair, she sat on his lap, nuzzling in the crook of his neck.

"So, how was your day, I mean except for training he Noobs, did you enjoy it?" Cecilia lazily played in his hair, the light rumble coming from his chest confirming that he liked what she was doing.

"It was different. I really liked it. I mean, eventually I probably go back out in the field, but for now, this is perfect. It keeps me here, with you." Kissing her head, he lost himself in the feeling of her playing with his hair.

"Will you take me to bed Mr. Barnes?" She felt him smile in her hair. He picked her up, easily. Stealing a breathtaking kiss. Cecilia put her arms around his neck and pulled him closer. Deepening the kiss. She heard him groan. Loved the way he responded so easily to her. It was addictive, to have this big strong, deadly man so willing, so docile with her. A power trip, truly.

He brought her to bed, never letting go of her lips. His tongue working in tandem with hers, moving from holding her in his arms to hovering over her, still, kissing his woman. He was all hands, caressing, groping, pinching. He simply needed to touch her everywhere. Her fingers were in his hair,pulling, scratching, and he pinned them together over her head with his metal arm. She squirmed and whimpered, but the smile on her face, and the giggles coming from her throat told him she loved it.

Quickly he undressed them both, one handed, he could feel her heat and her wetness as she ground her hips against him, looking for friction. With his flesh hand he pulled her leg over his hip, and in one smooth move slid home; for that is exactly what she was to him, home. He took her languidly, not caring that she whimpered, frustrated, his metal hand still holding her wrists above her head. He kissed her and licked her, leaving small red marks behind as he sucked on her skin.

Knowingly, he would bring her close, to the brink, before changing his tempo and disappointing her, over and over, expertly. He knew exactly what effect he had on her, and he was using all his talents. Finally, both drenched in sweat, Cecilia barely able to respond anymore, he worked her one last time, hearing her breath hitch, her whimpers grow louder, her heart beat go faster, he felt her respond to him, so willing, he let go of her wrists, her hands loosing themselves in his hair, and he felt her whole body tensing as she called his name, her breath catching in her throat, a beautiful blush creeping fro her chest to her face, and lower, to her abdomen, a light sheen of sweat on her beautiful alabaster skin, her hair disheveled, she had that well fucked looked he adored on he, because he was the one that had brought it on.

Proud of his prowess, and a little tired, James finally took his pleasure, a few expertly brought thrusts, and he was done, looking into her groggy half lidded eyes, before sliding off of her while pulling her on him, and resting.

"You are my balance." She purred, almost. Cuddled closer. "LyubImaya moyA, RAdost' moyA."


	7. Chapter 7

Working with Natasha was a feat in and of itself, she was secretive but open, could talk for hours yet not say anything important and was probably the closest friend Cecilia besides Steve. They had grown close in the past few months, a team, and where one went the other would usually follow. Though they had different skill sets, both could, would and had learned a lot from the other.

They were coming back to New York after a week and a half in DC, answering questions about SHIELD and HYDRA for a government oversight project, which, if it were up to them, would be nipped in the bud as quickly as the idea had surfaced. It was a nice day, probably the last one where it would be nice enough to ride and so the girls took advantage.

Cecilia had always hated riding bitch, but now that she had her own bike, she loved it, it just wasn't the same. She heard a beep in her helmet and she reached to click the "answer call" button. The superimposed image on her visor letting her know it was James.

"Hello Gorgeous." He chuckled.

"Hello yourself Sweetheart, How's the ride home?" She passed a car before changing lanes again, falling in next to Natasha.

"Good, a bit on the cool side, but I'm well dressed." She was in her white and orange padded leather pants and jacket, perfect for the occasion, Giving her enough flexibility to move but padded enough to protect her, from any minor issues.

"Glad to know I was right." She rolled her eyes.

"So what can I do for you James? " She heard him grunt, she could read him like a book.

"I'm leaving with Steve for a few days, I won't be there when you come back, they're sending us out as soon as were ready. " Shit. She motioned to her partner that she was pulling over to the side of the road, checked her blind spot and seamlessly parked on the side of the highway. Giving her husband her full attention.

"How long will you guys be gone?"

"Maybe three days, not much more then that." In Jame's speak, that meant a week.

"OK, you know the rules?" He chuckled.

"Rules? what rules?" She sighed.

"No getting hurt, no getting killed, no sleeping with anyone, except for Steve, but only if you're stuck in the middle of the antarctic and you need to share body heat, and... you have to come back to me." She tried not to let her voice crack, she hated when he left for missions like that. This would be his third one in the past six months, and letting him go never got any better.

"Yeah, THOSE rules." she heard a smile in his voice. "How could I ever forget." There was a silence for a moment, as she heard him talk to someone else on the other end of the line.

"I love you Cecilia, you are my life." She head his distress. "I have to go." They said their goodbyes and hung up. Cecilia needing a few moments to settle down before heading back on the road, she had to catch up to Natasha.

Cecilia was truly loving her new life style, she traveled a lot with Natasha, she learned a lot, mostly in the field, her way of getting information was different from Nat's where Natasha worked on the by analyzing people's responses and fears and then coming to a learned conclusion, Cecilia worked on their minds, manipulating them openly, honestly. Even without James there, she was good. Not as hard or as seasoned as her mentor, Cecilia took care of less "Important" cases. Though she still had nasty physical responses to her sessions, she knew it was a sacrifice well worth doing for the good of the many.

She came home that night, after reading over a few files in her office, getting ready to leave for Guantanamo in the next few days. Alone, no Natasha. Her first "Mission" alone. And NO she wasn't looking forward to it. She dropped her files on the kitchen table, hearing the shower run in the bathroom. James was home. She hadn't had time to even talk to him since his return from his last mission two days ago. To busy, to tired, to... what ever.

She was exhausted. Though she wasn't quite sure why. She had spent all day in her office, reading and talking on the phone. She shrugged, probably just mental fatigue, a good night's sleep after some nice Wifely duties would be welcome. Had it really been almost three weeks since she and James had been intimate... they seriously needed to get working on that.

She heard the shower stop, then a few minutes later, he man strut in, sexy as sin, in just a towel. Well this was nice. He was smirking at her looking at him. He stalked to her and pulled her into his strong arms, hugging her tight before kissing her hello, long deep and full of need, So much so his towel had issued staying up.

They didn't talk, just kissed and pawed at each other, hardly able to get to the couch before he pinned her down and had his way with her. He had so missed her, he had counted twenty two days since their last tumble in the sheets, and that was simply unacceptable. They made love all night, though they were both tired, reconnecting simply couldn't wait. There was a need, a demand, a burning fire. And James spent hours keeping it light, blazing. It had been far too long.

The morning found them still tangled together, James taking his pleasure one last time, for now, before slipping off his wife and resting his head on the pillow,catching his breath. Cecilia rolled towards him, her hand on his heart, still breathless. A beautiful smile on her face, that is, until she turned green, got up and made her way to the bathroom.

James was used to seeing his wife like that after one of her assignments, but it was the first time he saw her sick for any other reason. He followed her to the bathroom, bringing one of his t-shirts, he didn't want her to be cold, he wet a towel and pouring her a glass of water, then kneeling by her, helping her into the shirt, in between retches, and rubbing her back after putting her hair in a messy bun. He soothed her, talking to her softly. She broke away from his touches a few times to empty her stomach. It broke his heart to see her like that, crying and retching.

He helped clean her up, then tucked her back in bed, cuddling her close to him. He would have been lying if he had said he wasn't worried about her, he was always worried about her. They had been married for a little over six months, together for well over a year, lived though so much together and apart, but always, always he worried about her. She was his life, his sunshine and seeing her like this, it hurt him.

She moaned a bit next to him , then got up, slowly, pulled some underwear on went to brush her teeth and gargle, then headed to the kitchen.

"I'm so damned hungry." She groaned. "But I have a feeling I'll just throw up more if I eat. " She was looking through the pantry, not finding anything that would curb her craving.

"Maybe you should go check the doctor before you head out, just to be sure you're not actually sick." She looked at him, shrugged.

"Nah, I'm fine, just tired. I'll relax today, rest spend some time with my favourite man." She smiled at him. He shrugged, getting the couch ready for a day in front of the TV, they both loved those days. Nothing better to do then to cuddle and kiss and make out and watch a movie. Those days were great.

She made them both some bread with chocolate hazelnut spread, four slices for James, two for her, before pouring them coffee and joining him in the living room, a movie already chosen and ready to play in the machine.

Two days later she was sitting in a plane, heading to Cuba, sick as a dog, first time ever for air sickness. She was flanked by a SHIELD agent, not someone she knew, and was being briefed, in between retching ,about how to best approach the prisoner. Some agent still treated her like a NOOB, as if she had only gotten this job by sleeping with the Sergeant. No one actually believing she was gifted for this kind of work. It was her first time without Natasha and she would be proving herself. And everyone else.

The assignment was easier then she had anticipated, though she had to stop the accompanying agent from using force against the prisoner, Cecilia had managed to get more then the information they had originally hoped they would get. Names and codes and much more that honestly, held no importance to her, she was there to do her job. And she did it well.

"Believe it or not Agent, I was sent here because I know what I'm doing. Not just cause I'm sleeping with the Winter Soldier" The agent looked at her, speechless, as she climbed back on the plane, less then ten hours after they had arrived, a complete success.

Getting home was the only thing on her mind as she walked in to the Stark Tower building, aiming for the elevator, she felt tired and dizzy, probably just needed some sleep, that and she had hardly ate, being sick most of the trip there and back. Maybe a nice mint tea to settle her stomach, Just as she thought how nice it would be to have said cup of tea, her sight got blurry, her head felt light and the floor seemed a lot closer then it should be.


	8. Chapter 8

He was happy to see they had put her in a private room. Her name on the door, Cecilia Barnes. He looked at it, he had almost forgotten that, she was a Barnes now, had been for six months. Though they had never made it official, never told anyone, hadn't even gotten wedding bands. It just wasn't important. They were already together. On the other hand, the insurance had been updated, which was the one thing they had both insisted of doing as soon as possible.

He sat there, holding her hand, praying, if that was something he still did, he would do it for her. They had said she was exhausted, needed to rest. He had no doubt it was exactly that. She was hardly eating, throwing up, not really sleeping. Of course it was Exhaustion.

He had been by her side since she had gotten at the hospital, had met the ambulance as they had arrived, less then an hour ago. He had taken her out of the ugly assed gowns and dressed her in one of his long t-shirts and boxers. HE wanted her to be comfortable when she woke up.

The doctor walked in, reading a chart, He felt Cecilia move around, saw her wake up, stretch, look confused.

"Where am I, What happened?" The doctor walked over, taking his flashlight and checking her eyes. Her pulse.

"Mrs Barnes, what's the last thing you remember?" He saw her react to the name, with a light smile. Before seeming getting serious.

"I was coming back home, waiting for the elevator, I think." The doctor nodded.

"That's good, anything else?" Cecilia seemed confused, thinking.

"I've been sick the past few days, tired to." The doctor nodded again.

"OK were gonna do a few test, keep you hydrated. I'll send a nurse in with some ginger pills for the nausea, and we should have a good idea in a few hours." James and Cecilia nodded. She was still confused, he was very worried. The doctor left, followed in by a lady bringing food. He thanked her and got his wife comfortable before sitting back down and picking at his own food.

"It's probably nothing James, maybe just anaemia or something." He grunted. She ate a bit, before handing over the rest to her man. She was still so tired. Her head was hurting, probably from hitting the tiled floor in front of the elevator.

"How was your assignment?" He looked at her while kissing her hand. The one not full of tubes. She shrugged.

"We got what we needed." She seemed upset.

"What's wrong then?" She refused to look at him. "Come on Sweetheart." She groaned.

"People seem to think I got this job by sleeping with you." She was annoyed. "I'm a fucking doctor in Psychology, I have three Masters. But they think I got where I am by fucking up the ladder." He was surprised, he had never thought people actually cared. He was nothing really in SHIELD, he trained new agents and went on missions. Just like anyone of them.

"I'm sorry baby. They'll get it right eventually." She nodded. She would make sure they did. She sat a up, straighter looking green. James helped her up and to the bathroom, where she was sick, again. This had to stop.

It took a few more hours for the blood tests to come back. By the time the doctor came back James was in bed with Cecilia, snuggled tightly, watching a movie on his tablet.

"Well, I guess I should be congratulating you." Both James and Cecilia looked up, startled. "You're pregnant Mrs Barnes." Cecilia was speechless, James was shocked.

"Are you sure, Doctor?" He nodded.

"Quite sure, I'm about to do a sonogram to check how far along." The machine was brought in by a nurse, plugged in, all was ready, James had moved from the bed to the side, holding her hand and looking at the screen. It was all in black and grey, and he could hear two distinct heart beats, his wife's and another one, smaller, faster. His eyes were glued on the screen, he could see a distinct shape,like a large peanut, with eyes, a nose, tiny little fingers. He was riveted.

The doctor was pointing at things on the screen mentioning how well developed it was, how large it was, what they could distinctly see on the monitor. James wasn't sure what to think, what to feel. It was a feeling he had never felt, he was sure about that. This, right there, that screen, this room, this doctor, his woman, it changed everything. Suddenly, this was a whole new game.

"Sixteen weeks." He leaned back, cleaning the gel from Cecilia's belly. "You are sixteen weeks along, it's a wonder you didn't feel any sort of weakness or nausea earlier. Usually it hits on the first trimester. But you are well into your second. You'll need to eat more, we can give you something to settle your stomach. And I want you to take a break, maybe a week or two off work, just so you can regain some strength." She nodded. Still not quite sure what was going on. "I'll have some of these printed for you, so you guys can show off your little one."

He hadn't mentioned wanting kids since they had first talked about it, about half a year ago. He hadn't mentioned it , because, thought they had agreed to a certain timeline, her career had taken a turn and he wanted her to settled before pushing her into anything she might regret in the long run. They were both caught by surprise, and James wasn't sure how to react. He wanted to wait and see how Cecilia would take the news, but so far,there had been no mention of it. No talk about her hospital stay at all, in the car he had seen her looking at the sonogram pictures, but since then, nothing, he wasn't even sure where she had put them. He wanted to ask her, but he didn't want to pressure her into talking about something she wasn't ready to approach yet.

They hadn't talked about anything really important since her return from the hospital, two days ago. He had gone to work this morning, hoping that some time apart might put things in order. But he wasn't sure. He just wanted to be happy, hold his wife,kiss her tell him how proud and happy he was. How being a father had always been important to him. But he didn't.

He walked into his home, hearing Cecilia discuss with someone else, it seem like an important conversation, he didn't want to intrude. He walked past the kitchen, kissing Cecilia hello while trying to not look at what was on the table, in case it was sensitive material for work, Greeting Tony sitting across from her, he went to the fridge and took out a beer.

"What's this?" He motioned to the floor plans thrown al over the dinning table. Not work related it seemed.

"I asked Tony if there were any larger units we could move into, since this place might be a bit tight in a few months." He looked at her, not quite understanding. "You didn't seem to want to talk about it, but we need to get organized." Cecilia was rubbing her stomach. "It'll be here sooner then you expect." James nodded. What did she mean he seemed to not want to talk about it?

He sat with them, looking over the plans. There were a few combinations, but only one he really liked. He put his finger on it.

"I really like this one. It's different, it has a nice flow, four bedrooms, and an office, three full baths, two half baths, a full laundry room, Huge kitchen. " He looked at Cecilia, smiling. "How much more would that be?" Tony looked at him, surprised.

"About two thousand more then the budget I was given." James looked at Cecilia, then back at Tony.

"Do you like this one?" Cecilia looked at him, unsure.

"I do, but we don't need so big, and the budget..." He cut her off.

"I can afford anything you want. Which ever one of these you want, that's what we will get. Nothing to good for my family." The look she gave him was almost comical.

"I didn't think... I thought, you seemed so.." He smiled. Pulling her on his lap and kissing her as Tony grabbed himself a beer.

"I am the happiest man on the planet." She smiled.

"Alright then Tony, we will take that one." She pointed at the one James liked. Tony nodded.

"Awesome, I could have that ready for you in about three weeks. We will need you to choose colours and finishes. But yeah, three weeks." He rolled up the plans and set them close to the door. Sitting back to finish his beer.

"So congratulations! "

Tony had left a few minutes ago and Cecilia was in the shower, they hadn't had time to talk about anything yet, but it was more then time they should. He undressed as he made his way to the bathroom, letting himself in the shower, and surprising her by gently pulling her into his arms. She yelped, before leaning against him and letting him and the hot water sooth her.

"Did you really think I didn't want this?" He whispered in her ear, using a low raspy tone he knew turned her on. His hands were splayed on her abdomen, and he kissed her neck, tasting the water on her skin. He felt her relax even more.

"You just seemed so closed off the past few day. I didn't know what to think." He kissed her temple. "You never mentioned it again after that first time, so I thought, maybe you had changed your mind." He chuckled.

"Cecilia sweetheart, there is nothing in this world that I want more, seeing you fat with my child, it's just the sexiest thought ever. Knowing that you are going to give us children... You have no idea how happy I am." He kissed her neck again. "I love you Cecilia. I love our child, I love that we are going to do this together. " She twisted in his arms, now facing him, looking into his eyes.

"So how many more do we want Mr. Barnes?" He thought about it, he loved kids, always wanted a big family.

"Four." Cecilia looked at him, smiling.

"Four it is then."


	9. Chapter 9

"You let him knock you up, then what? You move into a swanky new place and suddenly all is right with the world?" Steve was almost yelling at her, almost. "You think he's going to change, that he is going to wake up tomorrow and be the same James you knew before Russia?" Cecilia was just as pissed. How dare he.

"I don't know who you think you are Steve Rogers,." She poked him in the chest. Hard. Knowing full well he would probably not feel a thing. "You walked away from being my friend well over six months ago, what gives you the right to come back now and try and tell me how to live my life?" She wanted to cry, she loved this man like he was a brother, but things had been said and she had been unable to simply put it behind her. He had hurt her, had tried to break her and her fiance up, and now he was here trying to do the same, except James wasn't her fiance anymore, he was her husband. And however tight their bond had been before, it was much tighter now.

"You are my best friend Giggles..."

"Do not ever call me that. You lost that right Steve. Besides, Isn't James your best friend, Shouldn't you be looking out for him instead." He shook his head.

"I want you both to be happy, I do, but he isn't stable Cecilia. He's still Yakov, still how he was in Russia. He remembers, but he doesn't feel, he knows but it doesn't affect him." He grabbed her wrist, her finger still poking him in the chest. His fingers were loose but kept her there, close to him. "He isn't the James you want." She looked away.

"He is my James, my Yakov, it doesn't matter they are the same man. Why do you care anyway's?" She wanted to hurt him.

"Because... because... This should be mine Cecilia, this, you" He motioned to the apartment, to her stomach."I love you. I always will. But he, James... he's not..." He shook his head. Instead of trying to explain any longer, he pulled her to him and stole a kiss.

Cecilia pushed him off, hard. Slapping him for good measure.

"Steve. What the fuck?!" He blushed, looking away. Embarrassed.

"Did you just kiss my wife Rogers?" James was right behind him, walking in from the hallway, Cecilia wasn't sure how long he had been there, listening, or wether he had just come in.

Steve froze. His breath held for a second, his face paled.

"Wife?" Steve repeated, confused. James walked in the office, passed Steve and took Cecilia in his arms, kissing her before silently asking her to leave them to talk. She excused herself, the boys seriously needed to get their shit straight.

"I love her Steve, She is my breath, my heartbeat. She is everything to me, without her I can't think straight. I can't function. " He looked at the other man, pleading. " I know you want what is best for her. I know you love her, but you could never love her more then I do. "

Steve looked at him, his best friend, the man that followed him to war, into deadly missions and through countless dangers. This man that had saved his life more then once, that he loved like a brother.

"When?" He needed to know, it was stupid, but for him, it mattered.

"There was a Chaplain at the base, where you brought her to interrogate the HYDRA agents." He stated simply. "After that night, we just didn't want to wait." He smiled softly. " She saw me at my worst, and accepted me, she took me in and loved me, unconditionally. She brought me back from the brink. I was falling apart and she built me back up. She is my light Steve." Looking up at his friend he noticed the sadness and understanding in his eyes. Steve understood, He got it. He knew how it felt to be alone. To feel left behind.

"I can't live without her Steve. Cecilia is my everything." Steve nodded. He saw the emotion in the other man's, wether James, or Bucky or Yakov, it didn't matter. Cecilia was adored, revered, loved by this man, and honestly he couldn't imagine loving her as much as James seemed to. He had to let it go. He nodded again.

"Who else knows?" James shook his head.

"No one, I think maybe she might have mentioned it to an agent at some point, as a joke, but no one knows. We haven't told anyone." Steve felt a bit better.

"So when were you planning on telling everyone? I mean it's been over six months." James shrugged.

"We weren't it never really came up. We sort of wanted to eventually have a ceremony with our friends, but then Cecilia's job changed and now were pregnant." He suddenly had a goofy smile on his face. Just like the old Bucky. "Maybe we should. We could let everyone know about the baby too. It could be fun." He nodded to himself. Still smiling to himself.

Steve had been wrong, as unstable as that man might be, he was probably their best thing fro Cecilia, either way, she was defiantly the best thing for him. He pulled his childhood friend in for a hug. Apologizing for his being an idiot, and for kissing his wife. Then he left. He needed to fix things with Cecilia, he wasn't sure how, but he sure as hell would do his best.

It seemed James owned a home upstate, a beautiful house, set a huge piece of land. With woods and a river breaking the land in two, a small bridge crossing over it. There were stables, but no horses, a garage, and the main house, a four bedroom home, nothing fancy, but the scenery was breathtaking.

They had taken a few weeks out of their busy schedule to set this up, he and Steve. There was a tent, where the food and beverages would be presented, a few tables, no band, James wanted to keep it casual. Only a few choice guests. No alcohol. It would be a dry wedding. He smiled at that.

Steve had gone to pick up Cecilia's mother at the airport. He wasn't sure how that would go. She had been talking to her again the past year, but before that their relationship had been strained. He was just hoping Bryan would not make and appearance. Killing her step brother on their big day would not be a good thing... or maybe it would be.. he wasn't sure.

They had managed to keep this all a secret from Cecilia. Natasha helping as much as she could by keeping his wife busy, helping with details, and getting her a dress. They had told her this was an official garden party. For work. Though she found it odd, she didn't ask anymore questions. She had been handed a file, and right now she was in one of the rooms studying the file with Natasha. Not realizing that they were all here, all her friends, and that this was actually her official wedding day.

She was wearing her star earrings, necklace and bracelet, the ones James had sent to her while in rehab. She loved those. The dress that Natasha had chose for her was a short tight , red thing, to match her jewelry. It fit her perfectly, showing off just enough of her baby bump. She loved it. It was perfect. She was only here to gather information, but that didn't mean she had to look frumpy.

She put her hair up in a simple loose bun, put on lipstick to match the dress, a little eye liner, put on her red flats and she was ready. Natasha touched her ear piece to let the know and it was on.

She walked down the old wooden staircase, it was a beautiful home, reminding her a bit of the house in Russia, it was far from everything and the land it was on was absolutely breathtaking.

Walking out of the large french doors, she immediately noticed something was off, all the people here were people she knew, they seemed to make a path for her, letting her walk by them then following her she was led past the tent and on towards the water front, where she could see James waiting wearing a beautifully tailored linen suit light grey,He was breathtaking. Looking again she thought she recognized her mother, and her husband, and standing there, a step or two past James, was Steve, also in a suit.

She stopped dead in her tracks, before a huge smile appeared on her red lips. This was the wedding she had always wanted. This was it, her husband and friends had managed to make this happen for her. She was beyond happy. Beyond surprised. She felt something being pushed into her hands, looking down she saw a bouquet of daisies. Sweet, perfect.

Taking a deep breath, Cecilia walked on, towards her husband and her best friend, past her mother, and stood besides the man she loved. This was all she had ever wanted.


End file.
